Bridging past to present
As interesting the film you did, as modest and decent your behavior still is, as near I feel you although we did not met for three years. And it felt like three weeks, although lots of things happened in your life and mine. Your mother died, you got married and much more I won't know about. Your soft and tender interest in your eyes and how you're listening to everybody who is talking to you, asking for details, it still feels familar. And I remeber closely that THIS was it which attraced you to me years ago, lots of years ago, when not be able to put the last missing decision gram to let the see-saw fall down to the love chapter. I used this strange inner argument of "you are too tall for me" and indeed, there was something missing when we met personally and when standing at a bar, and there was something there when sitting or having phone-calls.
Further: it's always the same: if you meet people who are really interested in getting to know YOU, you might forget the artifical intensions. I still don't know - and probably never won't - what was YOUR basically intention getting to know me: your film project - or really ME, as a flirt or even more? I see it in your documentary: you take the protagonists very seriously. With this theme a RTL-director could make them look like a fool, but in every silent picture your open-hearted respect is present.
Looking back I really wonder what it WAS - this pseudo-argument, why I discouraged me from falling in love - this "You are too TALL for me"? Maybe at that time it was both - physically AND intellectually. I just started my studies - now I catched up on some intellectual delays.
And now, after caressing YOU, even weeks ago - which - for the moment seems both so far away and present at the same time - because you are so far away and changing and changing far from any possible input, but online without a word to me, but to her - I am surprised how flexible the memory is:
YOU, standing here in front of the motion-picture screen, talking about the production are even smaller than I remember.
Later when talking with your really open-hearted wife for the very first time I feel as if I knew you both for much longer than these time countable in hours still.
And when leaving the place I feel a longing to find my soulmate as well.
Further: it's always the same: if you meet people who are really interested in getting to know YOU, you might forget the artifical intensions. I still don't know - and probably never won't - what was YOUR basically intention getting to know me: your film project - or really ME, as a flirt or even more? I see it in your documentary: you take the protagonists very seriously. With this theme a RTL-director could make them look like a fool, but in every silent picture your open-hearted respect is present.
Looking back I really wonder what it WAS - this pseudo-argument, why I discouraged me from falling in love - this "You are too TALL for me"? Maybe at that time it was both - physically AND intellectually. I just started my studies - now I catched up on some intellectual delays.
And now, after caressing YOU, even weeks ago - which - for the moment seems both so far away and present at the same time - because you are so far away and changing and changing far from any possible input, but online without a word to me, but to her - I am surprised how flexible the memory is:
YOU, standing here in front of the motion-picture screen, talking about the production are even smaller than I remember.
Later when talking with your really open-hearted wife for the very first time I feel as if I knew you both for much longer than these time countable in hours still.
And when leaving the place I feel a longing to find my soulmate as well.
Ideenjongleur - 6. Okt, 22:55


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