this came in my mailbox at 23:12:

Dear Catherine,

Your word for 13th August 2008 is

* * * Put it on the back burner * * *

(*** the rest of the mail, just for your intereset, above)

just in the moment when finishing the answer to YOUR mail from some hours ago where your assumed happiness covers even your well-trained politeness when announcing to ME after all as someone who has NO money, that you finally found a new gf who has money to travel with you.
Seeing me feeling through it all: Envy - indeed, I AM, love's grief, resignation about the next roundaboutaboutabout .... hurting, sadness, goodbyeness, all ... writing the first answer and knowing I won't share the RAW hurt, the raw me. With what intension? As I did not found a good answer I decided to follow the rule to consult my pillow to come to this answer I wanted to share with everyone here because there is a lot of trueness in it - and at least because I am proud of finding good words. Ha.

"Doing ok?" you're asking. Here's what I say:
"Sure -
I’m going to feel great –
if MY next partner has the courage to tell the truth - always – without exeption – and believes ME the same way.
If HE asks for things and thoughts and feelings he doesn’t understands instead to preassume.
If HE is strong enough NOT to let go something what he really enjoys because its ME who wishs it – just to please me.
If HE didn’t give into jealousy or hides but talks.
If HE didn’t mind and even didn’t get tired answering questions from others about ME, his partner, because he’s proud of me.
If HE has REAL better arguments for ME as if I have money or not.
If HE behaves not like a teeny to restage the past and IF – as I would be in danger to do the same – have the courage to go through instead of hiding – I’ll take his hand, if wished, I promise.
If HE enjoys to hear my voice, to see, smell, touch and feel me personally. ME.
If HE’s listening to me – spoken nd written and without words – and just understands me – and if nots – will try it.
If HE is man AND human enough to take me as I am – in good times and bad times.
If HE respects me and talks of me not as any old shortcut nor and “babe”.
If HE has the same big heart like ME and accepts, even enjoys it.
If HE likes even loves our story as it IS and not as it should be.
If HE believes in LOVE (and not in fate), not matter if at first sight or not.

And – not ;-) - because in a state of tbc (irks – a shortcut) - at least:

If HE will travel with ME to XXX or YYY or even both or just somewhere else where breathtaking beauty meets atmosphere next year.

And if ///I/// take it as if there were NO ifs ..."

And when thinking wheater I wrote this for me only or to share it with YOU I got first this mail - and when taking a short walk to my bedroom and switching on the TV and zapping to arte, walking back to my computer suddenly a slightly known voice started more to mumble than to sing: "ndya - hown many roads must a man walk down ...." - and I swear I don't think this up! - walking back to the TV although there was no need to reassure at all - and there you are - indeed - it's him, Bob Dylan. And again I walk back and there would be no more signs to send it, no better time to send it NOW, to the greatest Dylan fan I know.

----

This night no nightmares, please ...

Sleep well, don't loose you.

----



***Please choose the correct definition and click the link.


a) Do it as soon as possible (it's important)
http://www.owad.de/check.php4?id=2120&choice=1&sid=1128199

b) Do it now (it's urgent)
http://www.owad.de/check.php4?id=2120&choice=3&sid=1128199

c) Do it later (it can wait)
http://www.owad.de/check.php4?id=2120&choice=5&sid=1128199


Happy guessing!

Paul Smith